Sparrow

I am the sparrow.
Small, fragile, I endure
My pain is my migration
Of which there is no end.
I stay nervous, low to the ground
As I try to get what I need.
Seed, my stomach quivers
As I flit from the air to the leaves
And back again.
I need my flock, so I know when to turn
In flight, else my wings fumble
And fold, as I dive
Down to the trees to catch my breath
I am stifled.

I am the sparrow.
I would fly but my wings won't work --
I am my cage.
My mind inhibits me from flight.
I hop from one branch to another
Everywhere all at once,
And I lose track too quickly
Listening to my friends and lover speaking
But I am everywhere all at once
My mind is hopping from one branch to another
The cycle, summer, winter, summer --
Happiness, hollow, happiness --
And I migrate.

Back and forth
North and South
Winter and summer
Hollow and happy,
My migration is my pain.
Back and forth, one branch to another
I repeat --
Actions, thoughts, feelings,
All in cycles
The heat brings it, my cycle too soon
Too often
And I'm spinning, tumbling
On the cold winter fronts

I am more than my migrations.
I would rather stay in one place,
But it seems I was not designed to be.

I am the sparrow.
My wings are weary
And my heart may give out

I am tired of migration
But I have inherited these anxieties
This search for seed, for heat
For what we need
But the winds have hollowed my bones
And left me scattered in the atmosphere
I scramble, and my mind fries.
I am tired of this place, these patterns
These involuntary migrations

I am the sparrow
I am meant to sing but I have gone silent
The wind has ripped my breath from my lungs
And I cannot swallow
My fears, they look me in the eye
I am everywhere all at once

I am the sparrow,
But I wish I could change my nature
Or my path of migration
To have a final destination

But I am the sparrow
And I am caged by my mind,
Yet I am everywhere all at once.

-

Emma Tysinger 2019